


Hollow

by cabbages



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Sad, Trying to Cope, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:33:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22250362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cabbages/pseuds/cabbages
Summary: The house is a lot quieter these days.
Relationships: Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 4
Kudos: 32





	Hollow

**Author's Note:**

> My father was diagnosed with ALS in June 2018. After a long battle, he passed away Christmas Day, 2019, at the age of 62. I don't know how I'm supposed to live the rest of my life without him. I'm only 21. 
> 
> This fic is me trying to cope with this loss. For anyone out there affected by ALS or has family affected by ALS, I am so sorry. You guys are the strongest people in the world. 
> 
> I'd like to be able to get back to some of my other stories, but honestly I don't know when I'll be in a good headspace to write. I just hope that by writing this, I can work through my feelings and maybe connect with some other folks who are going through similar hardships. We all need to hang in there together. Our loved ones would not want to see us suffer. 
> 
> Thank you for reading.

The house is a lot quieter these days.

Chanyeol doesn’t like being home alone. The silence is deafening and the thoughts in his head overwhelm him, screaming in his ears until it all blends into one incessant, high-pitched ringing. His breathing becomes too loud, his heartbeat too noticeable. Every tiny noise is a shot of terror straight through his heart.

Even when others are around, the house feels emptier than it used to. Nobody really seems to acknowledge it, or if they do it’s very nonchalant and as if it doesn’t matter. It upsets Chanyeol because of course people should be talking about it. There used to be four people under this roof. Now there’s only three.

There are pictures of Kyungsoo everywhere throughout the house. Some days Chanyeol can look at them, other days he can’t. Some days he sees Kyungsoo’s smiling face, cemented forever onto the glossy picture parchment, and he immediately bursts into tears. Other days, he can only stare at them emptily, a cold hollowness spreading throughout his body. Rarely can he manage a smile. He supposes his heart isn’t ready yet.

Chanyeol tries not to let it get him down, but he can’t help it. He sees Kyungsoo’s belongings and thinks of all the experiences and time Kyungsoo was robbed of. The compost pile they had started for the garden next spring. The charcoal smoker he got for Christmas so he could add to his barbeque repertoire. The surround-sound stereo set so he could become immersed in his favorite music.

The motorized wheelchair that insurance finally approved after months of denials and appeals.

He only got to use it four times.

At night, Chanyeol sleeps with the blanket he bought Kyungsoo for Christmas that year. It smells like him, and the weight that bears down on him makes Chanyeol feel like he’s being hugged. It doesn’t fix things, but it makes the days a little easier. Makes them not as tortuous to live through.

A lot of the time it doesn’t feel real. Chanyeol wakes up to an empty house and goes to sleep to an empty house. Realistically he knows Kyungsoo isn’t there, but it feels like Kyungsoo is just gone temporarily.

_He’s just at the hospital for a little while longer_ , Chanyeol thinks. _Next week he’ll be discharged and we can go back to how things used to be._

But next week comes and goes, and Kyungsoo doesn’t come home.

His misses Kyungsoo’s laugh. His smile. His sarcastic sense of humor. He misses Kyungsoo’s cooking. Misses his hugs. His fierce independence. His love for family. His presence.

He misses Kyungsoo.

The house is a lot quieter these days.


End file.
